Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize