Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
