Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize