I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize