So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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