She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
