hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
