She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
