i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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