my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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