Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
