the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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