i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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