We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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