i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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