I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
