So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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