so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
