Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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