he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
