I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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