i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
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