just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
