I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
