Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
