And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
