And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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