is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
