Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize