Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
