I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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