doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize