i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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