U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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