i think my tv is drunk
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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