I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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