I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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