I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
