I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize