oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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