I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
