I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
