I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Your penis caused this!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
