life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize