You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
