Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
