I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
