matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
