hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
