I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize