Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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