need another drink. this is the easiest way
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
