I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
