I'm so fucking centered right now
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
