my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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