??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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