grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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