dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
