her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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