why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize