So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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