They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
