I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
