remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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