Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
