how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
