Hey man sorry I got all grabby
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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