oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
a search helicopter?!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
