I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
