Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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