u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
