just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
