I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
